I was checking my email earlier and found a friend had sent me something that made me smile! I have decided to share some of it with you! The email claimed these were all once written in a church bulletin or notice board!

“Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.”

“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”

“Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.”

“The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.”

“The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.”

“Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.”

“The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.”

“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.”

“The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.”

“Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.”

“If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.”

“Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.”

“This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.”

“Remember in prayer those who are sick of this congregation.”

“While our Preacher is on vacation, massages can be given to church secretary.”

I hope you all have a lovely day!